Claymation Nation

So this week....

1) Car was viciously gang-pooped by a bunch of angry crows and now looks like a blue leper or a leopard.
2) My boss's boss told me that the same guys that made that old-school claymation Rudolph movie made another one about
elves bringing snow to a sad kid in L.A., starring Hotmiser and Coldmiser, the two feuding children of Mother Nature. Check it out y'all: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NRLzZBxqv68.
3) Learned that E might be the only man on the planet who can dirty dance successfully to old Pearl Jam tracks.
4) Almost ran over a flock of birds on a freeway exit on the way to work at 7:45am. That's way to early to hit a bird.
5) It was brought to my attention that French Bulldogs can't screw like other dogs can. True story.
6) Discovered the Jaguar Research Center in Brazil and am planning a summer trip to see aforementioned Jaguars and then write a self-referential chapbook titled "Seeing Spots" where I'll make jokes about being drunk and plug for rainforest prez.
7) Realized hair is turning a funny color.
8) Drank a beer called Blitzen and felt tres seasonal.